Here we go again

December 10, 2012 § Leave a comment

It’s times like this… Where I’m “motivated” to write. Write about my last words. Write about my feelings & thoughts. The ever so raw thoughts. 

Yesterday night was one of the worst nights ever. My heart felt like it was ripped apart over and over again. I had no one… no one I can rely on to save me from such torturing emotions. I slept… for a total of 1.5 hours or so? Between 1am-830am. The rest of the times, were just a mixture of a lot of crying and bad dreams. 

I went to the doctor today. Went to the doctor in the hope of getting off from work. I’m depressed. Or rather, that’s what he said. I know I am. Maybe I might even have exaggerated a little to show him I’m depressed. But oh well, how much can I fake it? I AM. And I know it. 

He gave me blue pills. Happy pills. It probably will trick my mind into thinking I’m happy after taking it. I thought, hey! Maybe there’s hope. Maybe If I’m happier, I’ll handle things better. Yay~ Double yay. Yay~ 

3:05AM. Here I am. Writing the first ever post on this blog I created on a similar night (But the crying was too much for me to write something) My eyes aren’t fully recovered from the swollen-ness of yesterday’s drama and it had to start again. 

Apparently, happy pills don’t last for that long eh? 

& obviously, I know what’s the cause of my post now. The cause of my overwhelming sadness. 

It’s you. 

Advertisements

Where Am I?

You are currently viewing the archives for December, 2012 at ONE TWO FIVE.